Fuck Insomnia

I usually don't have any problem falling asleep. I'm one of those lucky people who get's into bed, turns off the T.V. and within a few minutes of my head hitting the pillow I'm out. I'm also lucky to experience the most amazingly vivid dreams, often finding myself on some incredible adventure that even the small part I remember when I wake up leaves me hoping I pick up in the same place that following night. Last night I remember flashes of my family in the back of the 18 wheeler truck I was driving, ahead of us lay an obstacle course wrought with danger. I watched as each truck before us fell victim to the hazardous trail, bursting into flames or gaining too much speed and loosing control...eventually they all burst into flames. When our turn came I somehow navigated our truck across the hazardous terrain all the way to safety. I know there was much more to it, constantly facing and overcoming certain death my family and I survived. I woke up feeling accomplished, rested and reassured that in the face of adversity we would prevail in dreams or reality. I'm the first one to admit it's cheesy, but something about a good, vivid adventure dream makes the whole day better...it put's into perspective how surreal life is. Not to sound like a crazy shroomer but does anyone else ever wonder about the possibility of dreams being the world where we really live and this being the limbo? I guess it's a reflection of the "life" we're living, I'm sure those people who live more adventurous lives and take more risks, care and wonder less about the meaning of dreams. For that matter they're probably less concerned with a possible afterlife...why worry about what comes next if you're living this life to the fullest. I spend way too much time watching T.V, I worry too much about work and money and care too much about how I look and what other people think about me. I want to take more risks and worry less about other people's problems, I want to ask for the time off that I deserve and take a week long vacation without checking my phone. I want to drink Margaritas on an empty beach, read a trashy romance novel in a hammock and take a sketchy plane ride to quiet island. I want to enjoy every day as much as possible and try not to let them keep blending into weeks and months, becoming years behind my back. I want to plan more things to look forward to so I never forget the reason I work as hard as I do.  Most nights I'm in bed by 6, eating food I shouldn't be eating and wasting precious time on mindless television. Most nights I look forward to falling asleep and entering the amazing world of dreams that's waiting for me but my real dream is waiting to be lived. All I need to do to live my dream is exercise on a regular basis, not poison my body with toxic food and honor invitations from friends, because the truth is all I want is to know that even my most fantastical dreams pale in comparison to the life I'm living.

 "You see things and you say "Why?" But I dream things that never were and I say "Why not?" - George Bernard Shaw

Image Courtesy of Prateek Gupta