Fuck Traffic

I don't know how it is in the rest of the world but living in Los Angeles you get used to dealing with ridiculous traffic on a daily basis, you accept that it's going to take you 1/2 an hour to get from your office to your home less than a mile away. Eventually I learned to accept my commute, ignoring the shocked  remarks of out of state visitors, but there's only so much a person can take. For some reason that I genuinely pray someone will explain to me, the powers that be have decided the next 6 months are the perfect time to perform major road work on two of the most frequently used roads on the Westside, Wilshire and Sunset Boulevard. I understand that all of this is necessary to widen the bridge as part of the $1 billion Project to add a carpool lane on the 405 NORTH between the 10 and 101. I know that the 405 is one of the most congested freeways in the world, I used to be one of the people who rolled the dice on daily basis, never knowing if it would take me 20 minutes or 2 hours to get to work. I truly feel the pain of those people stuck in the overflow that blocks up every secret side street and hidden canyon you know all because some idiot crashed into the divider while checking their Facebook status.That's why I moved. I chose to spend twice the amount of money a month because I realized that I was turning me into someone who threatened old ladies and wrote down license plate numbers (It calmed me to know that the person who cut me off might now be wondering what information I was collecting and how I could use it to punish them).  I packed, and painted, and unpacked, and nailed and hung and screwed (not the fun kind) and cut back and made compromises so I wouldn't be able to blame every gray hair I plucked from my head on the three hours each day it took me to commute. Now I sit behind the old ladies in Cadillacs that don't know red from green, watching in helpless rage as Assholes in Audi's and Range Rovers speed past me on the shoulder, impatiently slamming on their horn when some deservedly righteous individual refuses to be the person who validates their actions. I incorrectly predict that today the middle lane will move as fast as it did yesterday when I sat still in the left lane, or unfortunately assume that the person I allow to cut me off will at least appease me with a wave to acknowledge "Hey Thanks! I know I'm a douche bag with manners." I've personally never been a fan of guns, I grew up in London where they're banned and shootings are few and far between. Since this roadwork first started, and every time I drive past the sign that reminds me how long it will last, I tell myself that just because I crossed paths with more than a dozen people on today's drive that's actions warrant violence, I am not going to by a Glock.  I do however still have days when I close my eyes (it's safe, we're not moving in this traffic) and picture myself as the hero who laid down the unwritten law of courtesy on Wilshire Boulevard, picking out those above the law of the lanes and defending the rights of the few remaining followers of the law. In closing I just want to say to the team of geniuses who shared this vision "Fuck You". I only hope your own commutes give you times to think about the pain your have caused.

"Being in control of your life and having realistic expectations about your day-to-day challenges are the keys to stress management, which is perhaps the most important ingredient to living a happy, healthy and rewarding life." -  Marilu Henner

Picture courtesy of Curtis Perry